Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
don't judge my taste in strippers
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
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