Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
