my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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