why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
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