I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
Randomize
