Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
I wish I could teleport
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
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