I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
