So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
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