Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
