My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
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