her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
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