Just cropdusted the office
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
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