i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Randomize
