So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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