Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
Randomize
