I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
