What did we do last night that was yellow?
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
Randomize
