I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
Randomize