You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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