wat bout pragnant strippers??
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Randomize
