So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize
