White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Randomize
