Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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