the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
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