its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
Couch. On fire.
I came so hard my ears popped.
Randomize
