Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
tonight lets celebrate not being married
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
be right there i have to get my cape
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Randomize
