i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
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