why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize
