My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
Randomize
