This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Randomize
