i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Randomize
