I heard we made out
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
Randomize
