I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
Randomize
