If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
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