Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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