Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
Randomize
