I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
