If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
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