What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
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