This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Randomize
