You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Randomize
