Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
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