So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
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