how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
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