I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
Randomize