And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
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You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
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I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
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