I'm going to rape someone's good day.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
