you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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