Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Randomize
