Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
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