Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
Randomize
