# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
40s are totally the cure
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
Randomize
