life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
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