I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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