What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
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