If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Randomize
