i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
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