Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
Randomize
