Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
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