Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
