You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
Everyone says I win the strip club
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Randomize
