Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
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