two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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