that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
Randomize
