Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
