I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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