I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
Who died my cat blue again?
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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