To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
Randomize
