i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
