It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
